What did they just say?

This is a list of comments I have had the pleasure of hearing from the residents of the nursing home.  All of these comments were said directly to me, and not just overheard.  The newest will be added to the top of the list as it grows.  None of these comments are by residents who suffer from dementia or who may not realize what they are saying.   These are to be considered funny, sweet, and thoughtful.

  • “I started reading that Shades of Gray, it is terrible.  I couldn’t finish it.” – I don’t think her comment even needs me to clarify.  🙂
  • “You have really good phone skills.  If you could call to remind me of my appointments every morning my whole day would be great.” – comment from a 70+ year old gentleman when I called him today for his appointment reminder.  I would like to thank my mom for drilling proper phone skills into my head.
  • “I was a guest of the Royal Emperor of Japan for four year during the war.” – 90+ year old resident, referring to his four years as a POW in Japan.  He said more of his time in captivity, but this is the first thing he told me that got the conversation rolling.
  • “My wife doesn’t like this tattoo because it isn’t her name.” – 80+ year old resident and I were comparing tattoos, and one of his included a heart and arrow with a name through it.  He got it in the 1940’s.
  • “You know he does that so you will bend down and pick them up?” -said to me by one of our female residents about another resident who would always drop his poker chips on the floor when I came walking through.  Of course, I knew he did it on purpose-he was laughing and smiling at me when he would do it.
  • “I will take a Budweiser! I know you can’t get me that…can you?  Just coffee then.”– said to me when I asked a gentleman in his 80’s if he wanted something to drink while sitting in the main common living room.  He thought his comment was pretty funny!
  • “Everything they teach you in school is wrong.  It didn’t happen that way.”– said to me by several residents sitting while sitting around a table when talking about the Vietnam War, Korean War, and basically anything history related!
  • “Don’t you say you are sorry!  It’s a sign of weakness.” -Yes, this was really said to me when I apologized for someone else turning the TV too low for him to hear.
  • “I haven’t had any alcohol since New Year’s Eve, 1963”.  -said to me after he ordered a Jack Daniels, then started laughing.
  • “Why do all you young girls want to go to Paris, France?  Paris is nothing but whores.” – said by my favorite cranky 93 year old friend.  He didn’t even ask me if I wanted to go to Paris, and this is the first thing he ever said to me.  I apologize to anyone who lives in or likes Paris, he obviously did not care for the ladies there.
  • “He likes to hold a lady’s hand, it helps him keep calm.”- said to me by a 92 year old at the dinner table about another gentleman with advanced dementia who always reached out for my hand.  He was correct in his comment.
  • “If I died today, I would be happy because I have no regrets.  I did everything I wanted to do, and my way.” -said by my friend who was 73 at the time.
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