Yesterday evening, I went on a visit with Mary and Donna (who are in their 60’s). Mary was visiting her first cousins, who are sisters. We had to pick up one sister, Helen, and we were off to her sister’s house.
I didn’t grow up around Italian-Americans, so I am not used to the constant yelling, nagging, and general loudness. The two sisters are in their 80’s, and one still drives. I am not sure if she should still drive though, and she yells at you if you mention it. I recently moved into an extremely Italian community, and I am not used to it yet. The Virgin Mary and Jesus are everywhere. Everywhere.
As soon as we pull up to Mary Ann’s house, she comes out and immediately starts berating her older sister. This lasted for the ten minutes it took to get in the sitting room. The entire three hours were hilarious and oddly sweet. The two sisters have dyed auburn hair, and wear huge diamonds and jewels on every finger. It reminded me of a movie.
Here are a few gems from the evening,
- “Oh, I love that Usher. I just love Usher.” -We were talking about The Voice (which I have not watched), and Mary Ann apparently loves Usher. A lot.
- “Donna, those shoes are sexy! I can’t wear my wedgies anymore because my feet are swollen. Why do they do that? I miss my heels.” – Mary Ann’s comment when seeing Donna’s summer wedge heeled shoes. She pronounced it as, Wedge-ees.
- “No, I eat frozen dinners and frozen pizza, but that isn’t a problem.” – Mary Ann’s comment when asked if she eats a lot of sodium referring to the above comment about her swollen ankles.
- “Everyone is in a hurry to get somewhere. I don’t know where they think they are going.” – Helen talking about people’s behavior this day in age.
- “He wanted to hire me as his Secretary, but I told him that I don’t type and I don’t know shorthand. He said that he was hiring me anyway because I knew his wife and girlfriend, and I knew how to keep my mouth shut.” – Mary Ann referring to her boss of 40 years in New York City.
- “Helen, No! Don’t start this confusion shit. G.D. Helen.” – Mary Ann yelling at her sister when she was admitting being confused. I think she shows signs of early dementia, and her sister was having none of it. Almost like if she yelled at Helen about it, she would stay on top of things and not be diagnosed with it.
I laughed the entire time I was there, and I am ready to go again soon. I think Mary Ann spoke so much that the remaining four of us only said a handful of words during the entire visit. Can you tell that she was holding court in the sitting room?